A Better 50 Than 40: Building a Stronger Body and a Sober Life
At midlife, I’m focusing on progress, not perfection — in health, recovery, and the choices that keep me alive and well.
I turned 50 years old today. I’ve been thinking a lot about this birthday as it has come closer. It’s been on my mind for the last few years, really since turning 47. It’s almost like I’ve had an internal counter in my head telling me that time was running short in my forties and that my fifties were coming. It’s given me anxiety.
Does it really make an difference between 48 and 50? Functionally, it’s the same. It’s just that as a kid, the age 50 screamed the passing of a threshold. That was the label of officially and irrevocably being old.
50 is an important milestone. It’s shocking how many of the people I graduated high school with are no longer here. Just because it seemed inevitable, there was no guarantee I would love to see this age.
This is as true of my sobriety as my age. I’m now 11 years sober. It can be easy for me to take for granted that my lifestyle does not include alcohol or drugs. But in 2014, that seemed impossible.
Milestones are important in recovery. We celebrate them with as little as a 24 hour chip to as many as ones with a long string of roman numerals. It got me thinking about this big birthday. How can I take stock of my own inventory at 50? How can I use this birthday to help out someone who is still struggling?
I got sober March 21, 2014, but I did not go to my first meeting until May of the same year. I never got a 24 hour or 1 month chip but I certainly was talked into a 2 month chip and a monthly one thereafter. Those small goals made a big difference for me. I learned a lot about realistic goal setting from the book Living Sober. The the book says something like, “don’t drink for another 5 pages.” That’s an incredible goal if you never have had the ability to stay sober.
It’s also worth looking back at each marker. AA Step 11 says:
“Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it”
I look at this step as more than just making something right, like Step 9, the sequel. It’s also about what you learned and what you did well. There is more to learn and emulate with what you did right than focusing on what you are not so good at.
What did I do well over one month sober?
I went to meetings
I stayed sober
I talked to other alcoholics each day
I got a sponsor
What about in the first year?
I stayed sober a whole year
I thought about my actions before acting, which improved the relationships I had with others
I said no to activities that would take me away from recovery or my family
I think you get the picture.
So let’s go back to my favorite topic. Me. What inventory can I take at my 50th birthday? I am taking my health seriously, even more than in previous years. I’m seeing a nutritionist to help eat better, get healthy and lose weight. I fought hard to get insurance to cover Wegovy and it’s lead to my weight dropping from 277 pounds in June to 235 pounds today. I’ve increased the intensity of my workouts, doing interval cardio training, focusing on bursts where I keep my beats per minute at a certain level and then dropping down, improving my VO2 max. All of my labs have improved, especially my LDL and HDL cholesterol levels. HDL has been stubborn and has been stuck in the 30’s for years. Now it’s in the mid 40’s. That’s lower than I’d like, but much better than it was. I’ve finally addressed the tendonitis in my wrist, going to get a steroid injections to try and fix the problem.
These things may help me look better cosmetically. That would be great if it happens. More importantly, they help the internal machinery in my body. Turning 50, I’m applying behaviors that will make my life more enjoyable when I’m 70, 80 and hopefully beyond. It used to be easy to take health for granted but I can’t do so anymore. So I have to put in the effort. Also, I want to be there for those I love.
At 50, I’m focusing on the right decisions I’m taking and trying, very hard to not think of those things I did not accomplish, yet. One thing I did accomplish and its the hardest thing I’ve ever done, is continuous sobriety.
How do you think about milestones? Put it in the comments below!
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