Don't Wait for Rock Bottom
Why the concept of "hitting bottom" keeps people drinking longer than they should
You’ve probably heard the term ‘hitting bottom’—that point where you sink so low, you have no choice but to get sober. But here’s what no one tells you: the concept of hitting bottom can actually delay sobriety.
It did for me. I kept drinking far longer than I should have because I could always point to someone who had it worse. When I finally quit in 2014, I even questioned my decision in 12-step meetings because other people’s stories sounded so much more dramatic than mine.
So let me introduce a different idea: Why wait for the bottom? Why not get sober before you lose it all?
Spoiler: I quit drinking in 2014 and never looked back. Even when I questioned whether I really had a problem, even when I compared myself to others with ‘worse’ stories—I stayed sober.
Here’s the problem with ‘hitting bottom’: it creates an impossible standard. When I thought of hitting bottom, I pictured the gutter drunk—homeless, pushing a shopping cart. Anything better than that wasn’t ‘rock bottom,’ which meant I could tell myself I didn’t have a problem.
We alcoholics have a talent for comparison. We look for people who drink more so we can say, ‘That guy drinks more than me and he’s fine, so I must be fine too.’ Or: ‘That guy drinks more and his life is worse, so I’m definitely okay.’ It’s a moving goalpost we use to avoid the truth.
My idea of a ‘real alcoholic’ was someone who drank every day—a lot. I didn’t drink every day (except during spurts, but even then, never in the morning). Sometimes I could have just one or two drinks. Other times I lost control completely.
But this didn’t fit my mental image of a ‘low bottom.’ So I told myself I was a normal drinker. Everyone has drinking urges sometimes, right? And I had mine under control. (Spoiler: I didn’t.)
This level of drinking never fit the pattern of low bottom drinking in my mind. So it was easy to see myself as a normal drinker. I even told myself that other people had this drinking urges but like those other people, I had it under control.
If you’re stuck in this mindset, ask yourself: Picture a normal drinker—someone who sips a glass of wine all night, doesn’t even finish it, then doesn’t drink again for months. Do they spend time justifying or questioning their drinking?
Just asking that question tells you everything.
Just asking that question gives a lot of answers.
It took me a long time to realize: Why wait for things to spiral out of control? Why not get help before everything goes to hell?
Here’s the thing—there’s no downside to quitting early. I never got pulled over for not drinking. Never got arrested for showing up sober. Never lost a job for being clear-headed. Sobriety has zero consequences. Sure, it felt weird at first to show up to social events without alcohol, but I never insulted anyone or lost my inhibitions drinking a Coke Zero.
Early on, I felt like I hadn’t earned my seat in AA—I wasn’t as bad as everyone else. But the only requirement for membership is wanting to stop drinking. That’s it. I enjoyed meetings. I saw no downside to living alcohol-free. Even if I didn’t really have a problem (I did), my life felt better sober.
Here’s what I learned: You don’t have to wait to hit bottom. In fact, forget about ‘the bottom’ entirely.
If you can’t control your drinking when you enjoy it, or you can’t enjoy your drinking when you control it—that’s enough reason to quit. It doesn’t matter what your life looks like on the outside. Alcohol abuse isn’t about external outcomes. It’s about the mental anguish you feel.
For me, I just got tired of that pain. Maybe my threshold was lower than others’. But I chose not to sink any further—and that was the right call.
What about you? Did the concept of ‘hitting bottom’ help or hurt your journey to sobriety? I’d love to hear your story in the comments.
One last thing: In hindsight, I was worse off than I thought at the time. Aren’t we all?