How Do You Read the Big Book?

It’s only 164 pages, yet it can be the most complex reading of your life

It can’t be too hard to just read 164 pages, can it? 164 pages to recovering from an addiction you never thought possible. But anyone who has opened up the blue covered book has run into outdated language and writing style that often leads to confusion and disagreements on what the words actually mean.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous!

When I attended my very first AA meeting, a few members of the group called me over and wanted to know a little more about me. I was so terrified at the moment and it was exhausting just going through with attending a meeting, let alone participating and talking to people.

But it was a good feeling that people wanted to talk to me. I had told myself so many times that no one was interested in me and if they were, they’d discover who I really was and then I’d be rejected. These people were not like that. They said hello, listened and then introduced me to others. They made me feel important, valued and loved. I even walked away with a present! I received my Big Book. It was gently loved and it’s still the text I use today.

Being a wicked smart college educated gentleman, I KNEW that no one had to teach me how to read the book. I certainly was not interested in the introductions and forward. Who reads that? I also was not quite ready for the first 164 pages. No, I was still in the identifying stage so I needed to read the stories. And not the low bottom stories, because that was not me! I went straight to “They Stopped in Time.” By reading about people just like me, I could find sobriety.

Eventually, I learned the folly of my ways and in listening to people I respected at meetings, I learned that the first 164 pages were the program. I wanted to graduate early and be the greatest member of AA, ever! So I dove in and read that first 164 pages as quickly as possible.

The problem was, I didn’t understand or retain anything.

Were you like this? Did you start devouring the book, trying to absorb as fast as possible only to look back and say, I have no idea what I just read? This is something common I hear in meetings.

Then if these traps capture many in recovery, how do you read the book?

There is a saying I love about recovery. “If I could get sober on my own, I would have done so.” This statement goes for the Big Book too. For me, it worked best reading with others. That way there is an opportunity to read and then discuss the text.

For many, reading the big book is something you do with a sponsor. Many a sponsee sit in a sponsor’s living room and go chapter by chapter together, and then talk about what their impressions were. It’s not just a great way to understand this complex text book, but it’s a great way to bond with your sponsor and build trust. For a sponsor, it’s great 12th step work, sharing the message to another sick and suffering alcoholic.

What worked for me were two things:

• Going to Big Book AA meetings

• Attending Joe and Charlie study groups each year

If you don’t know, there are many types of AA meetings. You can find ones where there is a group discussion, a speaker sharing their story and literature meetings. My home group is a Big Book meeting.

I’ve learned the most by going to this Big Book Meeting for 11 years. We read through the Preface and Forwards and the first 164 pages, chapter by chapter each week. The last week of the month, we read one of the stories in the back.

The repeated readings, over and over, week after week, year after year is what gave me the insight I have now. I still don’t have it all figured out and I don’t think I ever will. For me, it’s a textbook.

So the message I can give to you, if you find the Big Book intimidating, is to do it with a group, your sponsor or best yet in a meeting. And be patient. It takes years to absorb it. Be open minded to what you hear from others. It just makes the material click.

What was your experience first reading the Big Book and how did it change over time? I’d love to read your thoughts in the comments.